When I was eight years old we moved from Bedford Hills, New York to New Milford, Connecticut. We also moved farther away from our grandparents. Where once we were able to see them multiple times a week we would drive the hour plus to see them at least once a month. It seemed like it took forever to get there but the ride home always flew by. I’ll never forget my mom saying that it was the anticipation that made time feel like that. Without a doubt this is how I’m feeling today about Dave’s return home. I’m filled with anticipation.
I definitely realize how quickly time goes by because this year seems to have flown (with a few days/weeks dragging on). Dave will be coming home in just a blink of an eye and my feelings are all over the place. Of course it goes without saying that I’m overloaded with happiness but there are a few other things floating around my mind and heart.
I’m nervous. I have the first date jitters and butterflies in my stomach which I’m sure will only increase as his arrival approaches but for now I feel like I’m just filled with nervous energy.
For those of you that don’t know my husband has been in Afghanistan with a road side clearance company. Their main purpose was to find bombs and take care of them. I may have a few details off here because I believe that ignorance is bliss when it comes to my knowledge of the war zone. I do know that my husband had three (maybe two) loaded weapons strapped to him at all times and had to be on constant alert 24 hours a day. So here is where some of my nervous jitters come in. Nolan is clumsy, plain and simple. He trips a lot, he drops toys quite a few times a day and makes some weird noises with said toys. I know that Dave will jump for the first few weeks when hearing some of these different sounds. It is bound to happen. I’m nervous about my soldier coming home and transitioning to a father and husband to little miss Suzy homemaker. I have grown a lot in the past year as has Dave. We will have an eight month old son who has primarily seen me as his care taker. He doesn’t have any stranger danger so I’m not too worried about Grant taking right to Dave. After all he is Grant’s daddy. Not all of the men coming home are the fathers of the wive’s kids (just had to mention that because I think it is an absolute disgrace and a completely disrespectful thing to do to your deployed spouse). It’s not my place to call them out but behavior like that is unacceptable in my book and I could never fathom doing that. Enough said.
Anyway, Dave will have to transition to being the father to two children and I’m sure he will do this with flying colors. He accepts and deal with change like a champion. Plus we have MANY exciting events happening in the near future. We will be upgrading our car to a mini van, judge away but I’m excited about this. Yes, I did say that I would never own one but then I actually drove one and they are nice! They have enough room for our mammoth sized children and all of the kid crap that comes with having a brood. We will be going to rescue a puppy or dog and adding him/her to our family. I am incredibly excited about this since I miss our dog Schatzy every single day and our home is not the same without a pooch.
One of my very best friends, Kelcey will be visiting us and we have planned on going to a Renaissance fair, haunted houses, hay rides, and just having a great visit with her.
Dave and I are also going on a short but exciting vacation to St. Thomas in October. We never went on a honeymoon and I consider this as our post deployment honeymoon. We can reconnect without the stresses of everyday life. I’m REALLY looking forward to getting away for a few days and relaxing!!
I guess all in all I just have anticipation about his return and some worry. Will we have the same great relationship that we did before he left? Will I freak out because now someone else is in the house taking up room, doing things that I’m used to doing? Will I be negative and judgmental about the way he takes care of the kids because it’s not the way I do it? I know I will need to back off a bit and let him adjust as we will have to adjust too. I also know that the moment he steps off the plane Nolan will totally forget that I am here and not leave Daddy’s side. I’m a bit heartbroken even thinking that but I know it’s true and that’s ok. As long as I get some one on one time with all three of my guys I’ll be happy.
I know things will work out the way they are supposed to but I really needed to get these emotions out of my head and “onto paper”. I feel so much better now although I think I may need some chocolate. 🙂
clubgrant 